Why Bums rule

Bums are people who are more worried about the price of a mango milk shake than gas or petrol. Future planning for them means planning for what they will have for dinner. Relationships are interest-less sources of money. Religion implies taking bath on a Sunday and retrospection, they would guess, is an inspection of a roto something. They are very strange people and if you ask an average person with brain and self respect, what they think of a bum, they would even go far and say that bums are the unwanted scum of this country's unproductive consumers. Pretty much right Id say. The good thing about being a bum though, is that you can always say 'that's like your opinion sir' and forget about it.

 

The biggest perk that comes along with being a bum, is that it comes with no responsibilities. Bums are odd entries into a family. I am yet to see a family of bums, but every family has one or two. These are the one or two people that everyone in the family loves. Yes I mean everyone, even that witch aunt or that perv uncle. What they do for a living is not often quoted as examples of successful people in the family but everyone loves them and that's the second best perk of being a bum.

Bums are not really into sports, in fact they are not really into anything that much, but especially not into sports. Watching, may be, but definitely not into it, for being in sports would imply a commitment of some time that they would rather spend doing nothing, which in itself is not exactly a small thing to do. Nothing here, does not imply nothing, its just that these are those sort of things that ordinary people would call 'nothing'. Things like cutting nails, surfing television channels or lying on bed thinking about how big those toes are and whether telekinesis can be mastered by practice.

Bums specialize in making conversations, actually if you look at it that way, they are extremely sociable people. Sometimes so much so that even liked by a few. I think they are very good listeners. This could be attributed to the fact they are always ready to learn from new people, since they know so little themselves. But on the whole, not many people like bums, perhaps because they are not the emotional types. Most of their decisions are cold mathematical solutions to human problems. Solutions that have no scholastic value whatsoever.

That's why when one day Dude Lebowski came in my dream and asked me whether I was the Dude, I said yes. I am a bum and bums rule.